January 2012
8 posts
“Happy and healthy do not go together.
Happy and hot dogs go together.
Happy...”
– Joan Rivers, “Joan Knows Best”
3 tags
Went to a meeting today.
You know who I can’t fucking stand?
A restater. Yeah, a restater. That’s right. I just invented new vocabulary.
A restater is someone who takes information that’s just been said, rewords it, and contributes it back as if it’s new information. And NOBODY NOTICES THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS. People applaud restaters. And for what? Regurgitating words? For example:
Bossman Bill:...
December 2011
15 posts
3 tags
Florida
Me: Shoot. I can't remember. Do I turn left or right to get to Dunkin' Donuts?
Dan: Don't you miss being in Massachusetts, where it's both?
1 tag
In other news,
Just found out my sister-in-law is having a girl!
BRB, buying every single Hello Kitty baby item ever made.
Per usual.
Me: On your way home, could you pick up a bag of cotton balls for me?
Dan: Cotton what?
Me: Cotton balls.
Dan: Cotton what?
Me: Balls.
Dan: HA.
1 tag
Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules for Living →
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute...
2 tags
November 2011
20 posts
“This should be our Christmas card photo. Us, on the couch. Me, eating chicken....”
– Dan
2 tags
Just ate Mexican food.
Shit. God. Damn. I love Mexican food.
Anything with rice, beans, corn, cheese, salsa. Lord have mercy. Throw a Margarita on the rocks in there and I’m so happy I could cry.
My birthday isn’t until tomorrow and it’s already kickass.
I swear to god
One day I’m going to compile every lame picture I’ve ever taken of myself mid-beer-drink and put them together then add music to it creating one giant montage of lameness and you will all be sorry you follow me.
A woman at this pizza place just said, “How much longer? I have an appointment at 1:00.”
Gee, I hope her doctor fixes that thing where she believes appointments influence cooking times.
1 tag
“If you can’t see right away that 8 is a factor of both the numerator and...”
– J Watts, Wilson Middle School (My student teacher sponsor)
1 tag
Last night, Dan decided to carry me...
Dan: Yeah, you like a big strong man.
Me: [Hits elbow on wall] Ow.
Dan: Whoops. Watch your elbows.
Me: Baby, this isn't working. You're gonna drop me and it's not romantic.
Dan: This IS romantic.
Me: [Hits elbow on doorframe] OWW.
Dan: I SAID watch your elbows. [Drops me onto bed] There. See? Romantic.
Sitting in a Dunkin’ Donuts, feverishly figuring out a lesson plan for today’s tutoring session, then dropping my bagel into my lap - cream cheese side down.
It’s like a peek into the rest of my life in one 30 second interval.
2 tags
So homesick lately.
I desperately need to spend some time around people who want to be around me. Sure, people like me here. But nobody goes out of his/her way to hang out with me and I miss that. I miss being wanted. I need a night out. A night out that includes gossip and alcohol and laughing and not necessarily in that order because sometimes alcohol comes before the gossip and laughter comes before any of that...
5 tags
1 tag
October 2011
10 posts
Dan: Here, you can have the rest of my cookie.
Me: Is... Is this a trap?
Truthful Tuesday
I have a lot of things I’m ignoring that I should not be ignoring.
1 tag
“Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a...”
– Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves (via verlieren)
1 tag
